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Bless me Priestess for I have sinned. This is my sin: My best friend was chosen to be part of the Bellydance Superstars and I was not. I am devastated. Priestess, I have never hated someone as much as I hate her. And she's supposed to be my best friend. I feel so guilty. Sometimes secretly I even wish her death and other horrible things. Please tell me what to do to stop this.
- Jealous in Misery. 

Dear Jealous,
First of all, don't beat yourself up for having those dark feelings. You know that expression "Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer"... well, jealousy has that kind of dark saving grace--keeping us from inertia and complacency as long as we don't let it eat us alive.

Jealousies are stirred up when we're not living up to our potential. We feel we are so close – and we see that person getting what we think we want or deserve but have not yet attained. Having faith that there "is enough for everybody" or "always room at the top" is totally thrown into question. The way out of the downward spiral of the green monster is realizing that our own individual and true path is beyond comparison. No one and nothing can threaten it when we embrace its uniqueness.
Comparison is death and the root of most jealousy!

Consider the following remedies for the Green Monster: 
Jealousy is healed by being more self aware and taking more initiative and greater risks.
Jealousy is transformed by versatility, movement and embracing all of our own contradictions.
Suggested penance: Wish your friend success knowing that if there is anything to the integrity and oneness of the Universe--what goes around will come around and by wishing her anything less you are basically sending yourself the affirmation of LACK. That's how the Universe works. Liberate yourself by repeating this mantra: "Death to small-mindedness!!" 

Sherene Schostak, M.A. is a Jungian psychotherapist and a professional astrologer in private practice in New York City. She is also the creator of Zodiac Dance: The Workout DVD and the workshops from which it was derived. She holds a Master's Degree from New York University in Clinical Psychology, and a Master's Degree in Psychoanalytic Studies from the New School for Social Research.

Comments
Sinner
Amen! Jealosy...who among us is not guilty of this sin? The victim, however is only one's self. I am not the sinner who confessed...but I will apply the penance to myself.

Neon
Defeating the self-punishing habit of measuring one's abilities and success with criteria and parameters created by others ( be it teachers, mentors, artists from the past eras, competitors etc.) is definitely a solution --as Sherene suggested. Leyla Najma addressed this in her interview: http://www.thehipcircle.com/article/display.asp?ArticleID=107 "....don't compare yourself to other dancers. There is only one of you in the whole universe. What a unique and miraculous gift you are to this dance. Look at the hill full of flowers and all you see is an incredible array of color and beauty. That is what we are."

samirafaraha
I think u hit the nail on the head Sherene, but I would like to make a small remark to Neon. While I completely understand where you are coming from and respect the intent of your point, I must point out that measuring one's ability to others is a necessity for our growth (internally and externally), of course we must do it without putting ourselves down and always compliment ourselves on what we have achieved so far. There’s always room for growth. Samira

Sinner
Maintaining individuality I’ve been professionally dancing for years as a soloist. I decided to collaborate with another dancer; I had not done this before in the past (I also never taught). I started working with another dancer whose been dancing a few years less than me but is entirely motivated to work with me. We worked on a few projects collectively and the experience has been wonderful. Our special styles seem to be merging together, which is great for the both of us. But occasionally I question if we are merging too much. Time to time I find myself watching her dance and feeling like I’m watching myself dance. She is starting to reflect me very much. I do understand that we are both giving a piece of ourselves to each other in dance, but sometimes, I begin to feel insecure. Since I’ve been dancing longer than she, I feel she is gaining more than me. I sometimes feel that I’m losing myself by giving her my moves and so forth. The essence of me feels like it’s on jeopardy. Secretly I wonder if she can steal my moral fiber of dance. Can this happen? Am I overeating? How do you maintain individuality and still be a collaborating duet?

Blanca
Dear Sinner, Check back soon for the answer to your question.