Welcome to El Confesionario. A sanctuary where you can confidentially ask your darkest questions. No one will judge or condemn you. We are here to help.

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3. return to this window and post your question. It will appear in the "comments" section of this page.

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On to our confession:

Bless me Priestess for I have sinned. I've had a lot of success as a bellydancer. I've always had a humble spirit, never have quit studying and learning new aspects of my trade, always sought to improve my skill. But because I've done it all and seen my star rise above that of my teachers and friends, I have developed a sense of boredom and cynicism toward my profession and fellow dancers. Bellydance looks pathetic when I put it side by side with the status enjoyed by other arts. I have lost all interest in and in many instances respect for my fellow dancers, my teachers, and older generation dancers. I literally enjoy dissecting their mistakes and acts of ineptitude. And even though I could offer them good advice, I don't. I keep it to myself. I confess that I think I am bad for this.
- Jaded. 

Dear Jaded,
First off, please don't consider yourself "bad." Nothing is so black and white, especially complex matters such as this. The fact that you're asking the question shows that you care.

"Where there is boredom, there is no love" says Ammachi. I think boredom and feeling jaded run the same line – kind of like a meridian point that runs from the joy-kill gray matter in our brain straight to our middle finger. Real success, even in career, is often best measured by happiness. If you feel jaded, something went sorely awry and it's time for some serious reassessment.

Again, comparison is death but if you must compare, why not use your own accomplishments as the barometer to rise above. There is always more to create and aspire to, unless perhaps you're in a realm where your heart no longer feels fired up. If you hold back your seasoned reflections and the gifts gleaned from watching your own star rise, or anything that could help another dancer – you render yourself responsible as a silent accomplice in dumbing belly dance down. If you want to raise it to the level enjoyed by other art forms, wouldn't it behoove you to help others to raise the bar? What is the resistance to helping others in this capacity – is there any resentment or a feeling that your knowledge or time would not be properly acknowledged or appreciated? Is there a fear that they will "steal" your best tricks or rise to your level or exceed you? After all, it sounds like you crave a little competition and challenge in belly dance, so by sharing your best it would force you to exceed yourself.

Do you really feel you have tapped out all of your own potential? Have you had negative experiences in the past when it comes to sharing your gold?
Reflecting on these questions might reveal all the leaky undercurrents – compliments of the ego – that can easily dampen any artist's spirit. We must remain ever vigilant! As Martha Graham so poignantly said "No dancer is ever satisfied."

Sherene Schostak, M.A. is a Jungian psychotherapist and a professional astrologer in private practice in New York City. She is also the creator of Zodiac Dance: The Workout DVD and the workshops from which it was derived. She holds a Master's Degree from New York University in Clinical Psychology, and a Master's Degree in Psychoanalytic Studies from the New School for Social Research. In addition, she has had specialized training in working with addictions, having worked closely with recovery groups as a Senior Research Assistant for the National Drug Research Institute for five years. Sherene also has certification from the D.O.M.E. the Inner Guide Meditation Center, as an Inner Guide Meditation Initiator. She teaches classes and workshops internationally on astrology, archetypal psychology, Eastern philosophy and Middle Eastern dance.

Comments
Lola
Wow! What a question and what an answer. I have noticed that as bellydancers we reach certain plateaus where our ego gets convinced that we know it all. If we are lucky, we grow beyond such plateaus, then look back, take a second look at things and sometimes realize that we have things to learn from dancers/aspects of the dance that at some point we “looked down” upon. It takes guts to humbly recognize that we need to keep growing.

Sinner
Thank you, Sherene.